in the Hands of the Potter: Which way is up?

Wednesday, May 3, 2006

Which way is up?

Lately, I have found myself without a sense of direction for my future. Up until this point in my life, I haven't had to face major decisions. It seems as though I have simply sailed through those decision-making times by the grace of God, feeling His leading wherever I went. Although I may have wondered about a decision, or worried that I may not have direction, there was never any agonizing. God has always provided an answer to those dilemmas without any decision-making on my part. All I've had to do was follow.

Now, however, I find that I'm in one of those agonizing situations. I find myself worrying about my future.
Where should I work?
What kind of medicine do I want to work in? Inpatient? Outpatient?
Do I want to live somewhere by myself?
Or should I move back home for a while to pay off loans?

If I look back at my relatively short existence so far, all I see is God's faithfulness and provision. He has even taken into account the fact that I'm not very good at making decisions, and He has made my decisions for me. So why do I agonize now? Why do I worry?

Sometimes I forget that "sitting back and letting God handle things" doesn't mean doing nothing to facilitate an answer. If I don't go look for a job, He isn't going to plop one into my lap. If I don't make the effort to build relationships, they won't simply happen. Life doesn't work that way. It takes action on my part.
I'm reminded of David, when he was considering building the temple for the Lord. He felt that it was something that was supposed to be done, but when he started it, God stopped him. It was a job that Solomon was supposed to take care of. God said, I want this done, but I don't want you to do it.
When I take a step forward in faith, even if it may not be the right direction, God will lead me. He will turn me in the direction that He wants me to go, close doors that He doesn't want me to open, and open the doors that He wants me to go through.

As long as I take that step of faith, He will lead. So what am I doing sitting still?

posted by emily @ 9:23 PM

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