| Thursday, September 20, 2007 |
| Just tired |
I need to blog more. I have lots to say, but I haven't written any of it ... and so now I feel kind of overwhelmed with the thought.
Tonight I'm just tired. It's been a long week, like I knew it would be, and it doesn't show any signs of slowing down. I am eternally busy, at work and after work. It's funny, because I do love being busy. I fill up my schedule, hanging out with people, doing church stuff, other stuff. And I love my life. I love the freedom I have to do what I want. But sometimes I wish it weren't always so busy. I need the time to read and think and worship and pray and sleep. You'd think I would have found the right balance by now ... but I guess that's part of the fun of life: figuring that out. And everything changes so often anyway. I can't imagine if my life weren't so dynamic. New and fun things happen every day!
Anyway, I'm just too tired right now to say anything else. Maybe tomorrow... |
posted by emily @ 11:28 PM  |
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| Sunday, September 16, 2007 |
| Random thoughts |
I am sitting here, watching the Patriots play the Chargers, and I figured it might be a good time to blog. The problem is, I don't have anything funny or insightful to say. Usually when I blog, I like to at least make myself laugh or think. But today I will write a random assortment of my thoughts.
I have been having trouble breathing lately. Mostly this past week, I feel like my chest is really tight. Like I have to remind myself to breathe, and when I do breathe, I have to make an extra effort to take a deep breath because otherwise I don't get enough air. It's weird. I wonder if an inhaler might help. OR maybe I'm just anxious or something. It's weird.
I am not looking forward to work this week. Usually we have about 8-10 PA's on at a time. This week we're going to have 4. All the rest of us are on vacation or evenings or something else. And so we're going to get lots of patients. I was thinking today during youth group that maybe I need to get up extra early this week to pray and prepare myself - ask for additional grace and wisdom.
The Bills are terrible. And so is my Fantasy Football team. Somehow, I always manage to play the wrong people. Out of my two quarterbacks, I played the one who got a lot less points. I did manage to start the right tight end. But I'm going to lose anyway, and so I'll be 0-2. I miss my *good team from last year.
Tonight, at youth group, the Lord really spoke to me about something. I am going to be leading two Bible studies this year - a youth and young adult one. And I've been really feeling overwhelmed lately, realizing that I am responsible for these young people. I am the one who has to figure out what God is saying, how He is leading, how to draw people in, what to teach, etc. And tonight, Pastor Josh talked about how we can't do anything without God. But conversely, when we have God, we can do ANYTHING. He reminded us that our ministry flows out of our relationship with God. Fruit comes when we spend time being intimate with Christ. And I realized that I've been drawing on my own strength lately. I've been assuming that *I* have to do all this stuff. And what I really need to do is spend time in fellowship with Jesus .... and it's true- the other things WILL fall into place. I will be more sensitive to His voice. It's the only way I can be effective to do the ministry He's called me to.
And finally ... I am tired. I think maybe I will go to bed early tonight.
That's all. Hopefully I will have more cohesive, interesting thoughts in the near future. :) |
| posted by emily @ 9:30 PM |
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| Friday, September 14, 2007 |
| Thanks |
In America, we say "thank you" to someone when we appreciate the way they are or something they have done for us. When we are out to dinner, we give someone a tip. In Zambia, you get a handshake or a specially-cooked meal.
Today, I got a taste of Russian thanks.
One of my patients is from Russia. In fact, she was a physician when she lived there. Now she is older and has a few different medical problems. During her hospitalization so far, she has been a little bit annoying, demanding certain tests that aren't needed and refusing other things that she does need. But today I spent a long time with her and her daughter, explaining what we were doing and discussing the plan for the next few days.
At the end of the time I was with her, she spoke to her daughter in Russian. Her daughter protested, but she repeated what she had said. So her daughter went to her dresser and got a plastic baggie with brightly-colored wrapped candies. She said "These are Russian chocolates. They are very good. You must have some."
And proceeded to get out a bunch of these candies. I said, "oh no, you keep them."
(Heck, I don't know where these things came from! And I don't want to take her precious candy. She must get it from SOMEWHERE special ... the writing is all in Russian and whatnot).
But no, she insisted on giving them to me. She stuffed them into my pocket. And no, not my labcoat pocket. My pants pocket! After that I stopped arguing and figured it would be insulting to give them back.
And no matter how awkward I felt, it also felt good. She felt so secure in the care I was giving her that she wanted to give me one of her treasures instead. And that doesn't happen every day.
(and in her defense, the chocolate WAS really good). |
| posted by emily @ 12:03 AM |
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| Thursday, September 6, 2007 |
| dementia |
One of my current patients is a cute, demented older lady. She was admitted a couple days ago, and has been relatively pleasantly demented so far. She seriously cracks me up! The past two days when I have asked her if I could listen to her lungs, she says, "well if it's going to make your day, then sure, go ahead!" I told her I was waiting for a urine culture to come back on her, so we could make sure we were giving her the right antibiotics, and she said, "well, that sounds boring. Do you ever think you should find another job?"
I talked to her son on the phone today, and he was telling me some stories about her. One day, he left the kitchen to go to the basement to get laundry out of the dryer and left her upstairs. When he got back up, he found her in the kitchen, pouring herself a nice, refreshing glass of Windex.
LOL. I mean, I know it's a scary thought that your mom could kill herself by accident. But it's still a funny mental picture.
I hope if I ever get demented when I'm old, I'm funny and not hostile. ;o) |
| posted by emily @ 9:52 PM |
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| Wednesday, September 5, 2007 |
| what the....? |
If you get a minute, read this:
http://www.webmd.com/news/20070905/microwave-popcorn-linked-to-lung-harm?src=RSS_PUBLIC
It's a story on WebMD about microwave popcorn and a harmful chemical you can breathe in. Apparently, it's been linked to lung disease in microwave popcorn factory workers, and now possibly to simply breathing it in after you pop it. Sounds crazy to me!!! |
| posted by emily @ 11:29 PM |
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| Tuesday, September 4, 2007 |
| reminiscing |
Yesterday I took a walk to the cemetary by my house. I mentioned about a month ago that I had told a patient I would put flowers on her husband's grave for her, since he was buried near me and she was too sick to get there this year. I hadn't had time to do it until now. But yesterday I did.
I thought at first I wouldn't be able to find it. She had told me what section he was in, so I went there. But there were so many headstones! Some big and some little. I was about to give up and just put the flowers by a tree when I looked down, and there they were! She had a gravestone right next to his, all ready for her.
It was a strange experience, standing there reminiscing about someone I didn't even know. I found myself thinking about Mel and wondering what her grave looked like. Wondering why I never went to see it. Wishing it were her grave that I were putting flowers on. Wishing I could sit there and tell her about all of the times I cried myself to sleep missing her, all the things that have happened in the three years that she's been gone, all the things I wish we could be doing together.
It's funny, because it's been three years since she's been gone. And I'm no longer the broken, depressed girl I was the first few months after she died. But I still miss her. I still think about how our friendship complemented one another so well. We were alike in the things that mattered, and different in the ways that made us better people. It was truly a friendship ordained by God.
I remember praying for God to give me some new, deep and meaningful friendships when I was a sophomore in college. The following year, Mel and I became best friends. We spent so much time together that people expected to see us together. She truly was an answer to that prayer. And you know what? Despite the sadness and grief that comes from her death, I would not trade all the time I spent with her. I can get over death, with God's help. But I could never simply imagine those memories. I do not believe that God made a mistake when He answered that prayer, and I praise Him for it. |
| posted by emily @ 9:35 PM |
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| about me |
 - Name: emily
- Location: United States
Then I went down to the potter's house, and behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.Then the word of the Lord came to me saying, O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the Lord. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.
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