| Tuesday, September 4, 2007 |
| reminiscing |
Yesterday I took a walk to the cemetary by my house. I mentioned about a month ago that I had told a patient I would put flowers on her husband's grave for her, since he was buried near me and she was too sick to get there this year. I hadn't had time to do it until now. But yesterday I did.
I thought at first I wouldn't be able to find it. She had told me what section he was in, so I went there. But there were so many headstones! Some big and some little. I was about to give up and just put the flowers by a tree when I looked down, and there they were! She had a gravestone right next to his, all ready for her.
It was a strange experience, standing there reminiscing about someone I didn't even know. I found myself thinking about Mel and wondering what her grave looked like. Wondering why I never went to see it. Wishing it were her grave that I were putting flowers on. Wishing I could sit there and tell her about all of the times I cried myself to sleep missing her, all the things that have happened in the three years that she's been gone, all the things I wish we could be doing together.
It's funny, because it's been three years since she's been gone. And I'm no longer the broken, depressed girl I was the first few months after she died. But I still miss her. I still think about how our friendship complemented one another so well. We were alike in the things that mattered, and different in the ways that made us better people. It was truly a friendship ordained by God.
I remember praying for God to give me some new, deep and meaningful friendships when I was a sophomore in college. The following year, Mel and I became best friends. We spent so much time together that people expected to see us together. She truly was an answer to that prayer. And you know what? Despite the sadness and grief that comes from her death, I would not trade all the time I spent with her. I can get over death, with God's help. But I could never simply imagine those memories. I do not believe that God made a mistake when He answered that prayer, and I praise Him for it. |
posted by emily @ 9:35 PM  |
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| about me |
 - Name: emily
- Location: United States
Then I went down to the potter's house, and behold, he wrought a work on the wheels. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.Then the word of the Lord came to me saying, O house of Israel, cannot I do with you as this potter? saith the Lord. Behold, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand, O house of Israel.
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